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        smb  50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries
    14
    Sep 2007
    12:42 PM MST
       

    CN and went to Sheridan to get my pickup worked on (oil change and recall on something) . IT was nice to hang out with JUST HIM! We meet Uncle Mark at Starbucks, THen on the way home we stopped in Buffalo to eat my birthday supper and had dejavu from last year at my birthday! THen after supper we went to Trenton's football game where CN meet the whole B clan! IT was nice because he just "met" and then watched the game with little talking or interaction. Rhinnon said that they thought he was cute and seemed nice! I agreed!

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        scarlett  36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries
    14
    Sep 2007
    3:37 PM EDT
       

    so...he crashed. In virginia. He's fine but the car was totaled. i wont be seeing him this weekend. we are back together. im not sure how. i love him. damn it all. im going to visit him at his house in PA in october. i dont understand myself.
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        leeyohhan  60, Male, New Jersey, USA - 21 entries
    14
    Sep 2007
    9:01 AM CDT
       

    鑰 匙 李家同 ` 我服務的公司常常會為了表示他們的熱心公益而捐錢給慈善機構， 雖然錢捐得不多，可是老板卻總要派人先去看一下這些慈善機構， 這次老板考慮要不要捐錢給一個老人院，我是公司的總經理就被派去參觀一下。 老人院在鄉下，一看就知道辦得很好， 在裡面的老人全是窮人，沒有親人照顧，當然也不交任何費用。 老人院的支出全�社會熱心人士的捐款，也有很多的義工來幫忙。 就在我四處張望時，一位在替老人餵食的中年人忽然叫我『李家同』， 我感到他有點面善，可是怎麼樣也想不起來他是誰。 這位中年人看到我的迷惘表情，索性自我介紹了， 「�一定不認得我了，我是梅干菜小姜」。 這一下我記起來了，小姜是我大學的同學，一位成天快快樂樂的小子。 他好吃，而且特別喜歡梅干菜燒肉，我們�此給他取了一個綽號「梅干菜小姜」， 他對這個綽號絲毫不在乎，覺得這個綽號很有趣。 小姜是一位普普通通的人，也沒有什麼驚人的言論。 唯一和大家不同的是他很喜歡替窮人服務，他三年級以後就住�外。 有一次，他突然在他住的地方收容了一位流浪漢， 本來是他跑到流浪漢睡覺的地方去照顧他， 後來這位流浪漢生病了，小姜就將他帶到他住的地方， 每天給他東西吃，可是病情越來越重，小姜慌了起來， 我們幾個人終於找到一家醫院願意收容他，最後也在醫院裡去世。 小姜要替窮人服務，當然�為他的宗教信仰， 奇怪的是他從不傳教，至少從來沒有向我們傳過教， 可是我們都知道他信的是什麼教。 小姜唸過�究所，當完兵以後，在一家電子公司做事， 三年以後，他失蹤了，誰也弄不清楚他到那裡去了， 我知道他曾去過印度。這一失蹤，有十幾年之久。 小姜目前衣著非常地�舊，沒有襪子，一雙便宜的涼鞋。 他看到我，高興得不得了，可是他一定要我等他工作完畢以後才能和我聊天。 等所有的老人吃過以後，小姜也吃飯了。 我注意到他吃的是老人吃剩的飯和菜，心中正在納悶， 醫院的�責人過來向我解釋： 「李先生，姜修士參�的修會很特別， 他們好像只吃別人剩下的菜飯，姜修士飯量很大， 而且我們感到他很好吃，一再給他準備好的飯菜，他都拒絕， 只有除夕在吃年夜飯的那一�，他會和我們大家一起吃， 看到他一年一次的大吃大喝，平時只肯吃剩菜， 我們都難過得不得了，可是一點辦法也沒有。」 我想起小姜過去好吃的樣子，簡直不能相信這個吃剩飯菜的就是小姜。 小姜終於可以離開了，我們久別重逢，本來應該去找一家咖啡館去聊天 ， 可是我注意到小姜一付窮人的樣子，實在不知道該到那裡才好。 我說小姜像個窮人，不僅僅是說他穿得很普通，很多大學生不也是穿得��爛爛嗎？ 奇怪的是小姜變得黑黑壯壯的，說老實話，有點像在街上做粗活的， 這付模樣我們該到那家咖啡館去？ 小姜看到我的窘態，立刻想出一個辦法，我們到他住的地方去吹牛， 小姜住在台北市，相當�的地方，我注意到他沒有用鑰匙就打開了門， 然他的門沒有上鎖，小姜告訴我，他的修會有一個規矩， 男修士住的地方必定不可�鎖，以保証這些修士一貧如洗。 我一看小姜的住處，嚇了一跳， 可以算得上現代化器具的只有一具小型的收音機和一個小型的瓦斯爐， 一個燈泡從屋�上吊下來，電視機、電風扇、電冰箱、桌子和椅子都沒有。 地上有被子和枕�，看起來小姜不會被凍壞。 衛浴設備更是簡單得無以復�。 房間有一些祈禱的書，都放在地上。 小姜告訴我從來不會有人進來偷東西， 可是仍有人會送些東西來，就比方說今天有人送他一包吃的。 我打開一看是做三明治切下來的麵包皮，他們這種修士是不能吃整片麵包的， 可是麵包店每天要切下大批麵包皮做三明治， 小姜和他們約法三�，專門這些麵包皮。 十幾年來，小姜沒有 吃過任何一片整片的麵包。 我問他為什麼要如此刻苦？ 小姜說他過去常去服務窮人，總覺得和他們��不入，有一種由上而下的感覺。 虧得在印度，發現了這個修會，他們不僅要服務窮人，也要使自己變成了窮人， 自從他參�了這個修會以後，他的服務工作�利多了。 他說他過去替窮苦的老人洗澡的時候，常覺得不自然，現在已經完全沒有這種感覺了。 我忍不住問他會不會很想吃梅干菜燒肉？ 他說他豈只常想而已，他還常常夢到有梅干菜燒肉吃，醒來慚愧不止， 可是也�為如此，他的刻苦才有意義， 如果七情六慾都沒有了，這都不是犧牲了。 他還說了一些我聽不懂的道理，好像是說他在替世界上所有人犯的罪做補贖。 人類越有人做壞事，他就越要做些刻苦。 說實話，我不太懂這是怎麼一回事， 可是我瞭解他的一切作法是�據他的宗教， 他一定相信人類的壞事�起來以後會被他的犧牲所抵銷掉。 小姜告訴我他曾經去山地住過整整一年，這也就是他皮膚變黑而且體�變壯的緣故， 這一年下來，他的樣子很像窮人了， 可是他很坦白地告訴我，他畢竟不是生下來就是窮人， �此有時候有些有錢人的想法， 比方說，每次走過網球�，就想進去痛痛快快打一�網球， 可是他沒 有襪子，沒有球鞋，更沒有球拍。 而且由於他一再要告訴自己是個窮人，�此一直沒有打過網球。 小姜還告訴我一件事，他在這十幾年內， 事實上曾吃到兩塊梅干菜燒肉，他當�吃了三大碗飯， 也永�忘不了吃梅干菜燒肉的年月日。 我發現小姜仍是小姜，一點也沒有變，仍是個嘻嘻哈哈快快樂樂的小子。 他告訴我，他不敢和老朋友聯絡，怕大家可憐他，可是每晚必定為我們祈禱， 他也問了我的情形，發現我的事業不錯，衷心地替我高興。 自始至終，小姜沒有任何一種自以為特別的表情， 更沒有一點暗示我庸俗的意思。 我和小姜殷殷道別，他要趕去替流浪漢服務， 我識相地不用我的豪華轎車送他，畢竟他已非常不習慣乘坐私人汽車了。 我要找汽車的鑰匙，偏偏拿出了一大�別的鑰匙。 到最後才拿出車子的鑰匙， 小姜站在旁邊看到我一串一串的鑰匙拿出來，覺得好有趣， 他拍了一下我的肩膀，『小李，搞什麼名�，怎麼會有這麼多的鑰匙？』 小姜走了以後，我站在街上發呆。 我的確擁有好多的鑰匙，這些鑰匙都代表我的社會地位。 比方說，我的車鑰匙鍍了一種特別的金屬，上面還刻了我的名字， 我打高爾球的俱樂部裡，特別給我一把鑰匙， 表示我是他們的特級會員，可以使用他們的貴賓室。 我做了總經理以後，又拿到了一把總經理專用洗手間的鑰匙。 我知道美國有些大亨還有自己的電梯， 可惜台灣不行這一套，否則我又可以多一把鑰匙。 小姜呢？ 他一把鑰匙也沒有，可是如果今夜他出了車禍， 天使一定會從天降下， 將一把開啟天國之門的鑰匙給他。 我擁有這麼多足以讓我炫燿自己社會地位的鑰匙， 可就缺了這最重要的一把。
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        prissy  48, Female, Hawaii, USA - 75 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    3:09 PM HAST
       

    So, I'm certain i'm not ready to be family again. There's some deep-seated issues I can't really deal with. Part of me wants it to be like it was before when we were kids. But that can never be. There's always that stray word that hurts like hell, that strange tone of voice that resurrects old wounds like demons that have been asleep for years on end. I don't want to go there anymore.
    I want to start over. I like being in denial of my past. Actually it's better than that. I choose to turn away from the past and move on to my future. I want to date, maybe someday have my own family, always being successful at work, never giving up on myself. It's so strange though, now and then when I get that phone-call (for whatever reason)and I'm back to feeling confused and stranded.
    So I must find peace within myself for those things.
    There'll probably be a part of me that will always be vulnerable to my family's words. But for the most part, I'm free now, I'm away from all of the hurt and pain. That's so sad that that's how i relate to them. That's how I remember them. It's all been hurt and pain. It's all been lies and back-stabbing. One out-doing the other in being hurtful. Jesus! That's all I can think of when it comes to family. That sucks.
    Well that doesn't have to be the case anymore.
    I could just not talk to dad and mom, and if I ever get married, give them an invitation, and just do the formalities. As far as Danny, I love him, don't really get along with his hench-people. But they come together, so that's the way I have to take it.

    Tonight though, Dean asked me to go out with him, as in for a little while, as in be his you-know-what. Hmm.. Interesting. I think I'll go with it for a bit, and feel it out. Get to know him some, and take it from there.
    We'll be a good team if all goes well.
    Sweet dreams my child. Dream sweet. You deserve it. You've come a long way from being the hunted. The witches and warlocks aren't in sight. Walk on to peace, and comfort, and safety. Live with the butterflies, swim with the dolphins and nestle in rainbows. Don't forget to redeem your ticket for a pot of gold. And look, a scottish man has it in his hands.
    Good night Journal.
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        banglesaway  40, Female, Indiana, USA - 21 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    8:59 AM EDT
       

    Blah...

    I miss him so much. Since he told me he's doing "stuff" now...really put mind in line. Makes you cherish every conversation, so much more. I do, already....as if I couldn't already enough...

    I swear if anything were to ever happen to him...i wouldn't make it.



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        berries7cinnamon  39, Female, Singapore - 20 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    8:24 AM EDT
       

    Last Friday was my company's Dinner & Dance.

    I made 2 of my colleagues to accompany me to go. The thing about this is that, it's supposed to be something fun and enjoyable, but somehow it turned out to be bad. Nobody's interested to be in the same table with our dear boss. I have nothing against her but that also doesn't mean I like her as well. I don't like everybody these days; people whom I don't regard as my friends. So much anger and hate these days.

    In the end, Yang Li were buddies with people from BD and so we decided to form a table with 'em. So there's only 5 of us forming a table, half filled. I didn't count our boss yet.

    However, on that day, the people from BD weren't able to form a table with us because an email was sent quite last minute to inform them that they have to sit with the industrial people. Sad story.

    I really love this dress that I bought for this occassion. Actually, even if I didn't go for this D&D, I would still buy that dress because it's something I've been searching for all these time. Something that I really want.

    Sharing a table with our boss is actually no big deal, but to be honest, I totally find D&D boring and I didn't enjoy myself at all.
    I feel lonely to be in this event, though I'm surrounded by people. Dr Wong is in our table and we all know how fierce she is, but she's our boss's friend; GOOD friend. And many other powerful people. So, how can I possibly enjoy this damn dinner?

    After the D&D, 2 of my colleagues just go off like that because their hubbies were there to pick them up. So that only left me with our boss, and another colleague who didn't sit with us in the same table. She's got her own friends, so she probably find it fun, while I find it so full of... nonsense. =_=
    We took some pictures before going off but now that I look at those pictures, I feel like deleting 'em away because my smiles were so damn fake.

    This is my first and last time ever going to this kind dumb event. I don't even have anyone whom I considered as friends to enjoy it with, so what's the point of wasting my time. Argh~

    Though boss is kind enough to drive me out so that she can drop me off at the MRT station, when it's within 5-10 minutes walk, but I still appreciate it. Probably she may find it lonely to walk to the carpark on her own. Well, me too; lonely to walk off that place ALONE.

    I got home dead tired wondering why in the world did I even make the effort to go anyway.
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        shootingstar420  31, Female, California, USA - 72 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    8:11 AM EDT
       

    Hi Long TIme No Talk :D :<
    U Know Sum Of The Pain Is Going away :<
    Im In Even More Pain Sumtimes
    He Has A Girlfriend :..(
    If Only I COuld Tell My Heart TO Stop Thinking About Him
    My Mind Has ITs Mind Set But My HEart Doesnt
    Y God Y Does It Have To Be HIm!!!
    These Tears Dont Stop
    Im Still In Pain And I Cant Take IT Away:(
    Well U Know I Said Id Forget About HIm
    Ill Try My Best :)

    Now Another Thing Thats A Problem In my Life Is My Parents Fights :(
    They Are Always Fighting Not Always But Most Of The TIme
    I Cant Stand It
    Im Scared They Might Divorce Sumtime :.(
    I Wish Everything was like b4 But The Past Is The Past
    I Always Wanted Parents To Cum Up To Me And Say How Was Skool
    Or Y R U Mad Y R U Sad Do u Want To Talk About It R U OK??
    They Just Watch Me Dont Do Nothing Y Cant They Talk TO Me
    Like Parents In Tv Do
    I Wont Make That Mistake With My Kids :)
    i Wont Bcuz My Parents Mistake Wont Be Made Again By Me
    Theyll Be The Past
    Yeah Riight :D

    Well Guess What I MAde It Through Six Grade And I Am Now A Toilet Washer Lol Or
    A Seventh Grader Im Not A Scrub!!! :D Yay!!
    i Met diffrent People Im Hoping TO Meet More People Now
    This Is Berly The begging Right :D
    Im Happy Hey I Talked to Anthony Again :)
    He Sat NExt to Me In Art Class And Rafa sat Next To Him
    THey Are Really Kool
    Idk Y My Friends Hate Rafa He Is Really A Kool Guy
    Anthony Was Always Bugging Me like Hitting my Leg
    We Are Still Friends Again I Guess
    We Stopped Talking For Awhile
    But Now We Talk Alittle More
    Yeah So Thats All Thats Happen

    So Il Write To u LAter Ok Laterz :D



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        banglesaway  40, Female, Indiana, USA - 21 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    6:34 PM EDT
       

    It's not ....

    ....even abouthim being physically here at this pt.
    It's about knowing he's safe...that his safetyis secure...that it's there andhe's outta harms way.

    and there's no guarantee. it's what keeps me up at night.

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        tas  50, Male, Alabama, USA - 4 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    5:52 AM EDT
       

    The word of the Lord is true!!!!
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        tas  50, Male, Alabama, USA - 4 entries
    13
    Sep 2007
    5:52 AM EDT
       

    The word of the Lord is true!!!!
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